So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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