She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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