Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
