So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
