do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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