I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
