We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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