I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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