real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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