:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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