69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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