bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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