to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
