he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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