Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
