So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
