friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
