This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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