they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
