Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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