Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize