Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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