I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
