so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
