you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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