Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
