she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
