so explain again why im purple
no
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
