yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
