It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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