I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
