was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
