Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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