Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
