So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
