O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize