How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Randomize
