I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
