The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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