I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
