fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
