Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
