I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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