It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
