CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
