Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
