yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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