If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
