just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I will pee on everything he values.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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