i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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