i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I had to cum in my sink.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
