OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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