I'm passing your future prison.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
