a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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