just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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