I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
