I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
