I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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