Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
