dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I need to align my fucking chakras
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize