I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
