The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
