Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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