Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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