Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize