i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
