i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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