I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
