And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
