butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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