You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
