the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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