come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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