All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
