It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
