She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My dick has a subreddit
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
