I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize