Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
